I wrote this a few years back and it is crazy how important it still is. If you are a writer and you go back and view some of the work you did you may learn something or even have a better understanding of how far you have come…enjoy! 🙂
I have heard, seen and maybe even spoken about friendship and mostly everything that goes with it. I have been so compelled lately to actually write about it and define it in my own way. Only because people have there own true definition of it. I have quotes like ” Friendship is love on fire” but what happens when one of the friends in the “ship” extinguishes the fire, what is there truly left? A love that no longer exists between the two or the ground just burnt? What really makes a friend in a way “turn on” you in a mind set? What if they are your friend physically but mentally they ruined the trust that was built? How do you truly recover from that? and to know how your friend truly feels. can you still consider that person your friend or let them go, just like a passing thought? It is always expected that you will have some family members that would turn on you given the right opportunity ( yes it does happen to some people!), but your friend won’t? What happens if both do it? Who can you turn to except God for that shoulder to cry on or the ear to listen.
The dictionary defines friend as: a person on intimate and affectionate turns with another; a supporter; well-wisher; the state of being friendly toward or intimate. Now since the dictionary gave a meaningful definition and as simple as it is, why is it so hard for some and easy for others to understand? Of course the bible will have a deeper definition and something many people turn to only because there are many stories based on friendship and what happens when they are kept and when they are not. The bible’s definition states: an associate whom one likes. In Proverbs 14: 20-21 reads ” the poor man is hated even hated by his own neighbor, but rich man has many friends. But he who despises his neighbor sins; but he who has mercy on the poor, happy is he.” Everyone who reads the bible no matter what the case may be have their own interpretation of what the verse is relaying. It can be neither wrong or right but it is left to the person to decide. In Proverbs 17:17 reads” a friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Since the word “friend” is so loosely, how can it keep its true meaning if people are defaming it on a regular basis. I think that when you choose someone to be your so-called ” friend” choose wisely! Look at how balance the person is or not; are there certain things you are willing to deal with; does the person have good intentions and can they bring a move positive outlook to things in life.
My view on friendship is simply this: is the person going to be there for you, stick up for you and not talk about you. What do you do when you confide in your friend and you discover they have betrayed you in some way? To me a true friend will and should talk about you in a positive way and not in a negative way. If they talk about you in a negative way, then it means that there are some unresolved issues that your friend may have and truly do not know how to go about fixing them and it could be vice verse. My theory is: a friend should be treated like a percentage chart. Either there is going to be a 50-50 chance that ” your friend” will keep there word and truly be your friend or not. It’s interesting to see that somethings can go either way. You can either make the best of what you have or make some serious changes.
Overall, friendship is some thing that is needed to try and maintain healthy relationships whether or not it is make or female. I believe the word friend should not be used carelessly and should be used with dignity and grace. Always choose not only carefully but be picky on who you call your friend. A friendship could be seen as a simple business contract but the true difference is instead of viewing it as ” what can you do for me” but more as based on the emotional and physical level, but with more respect. Treat me as you would want to be treated. Being open, honest and straight to the point that way nothing can be misinterpreted. If everything is out in the open then there can be no misunderstandings and a health friendship can flourish! 🙂