I wish I could control time,
So we can together be forever intertwined.
I have never wanted something so much,
I don’t ever want us is to be a damn crutch.
A long time has been spent not knowing,
But we both have done some serious growing.
Amazingly it seems you manage to find me,
Time and time again,
Not sure if my response I was going remain.
I questioned my own decisions,
Am I bringing myself to my own collision?
I know what you are capable of,
All I ever wanted was your unconditional love.
The first encounter was bittersweet,
You left me devastated and feeling completely beat.
I said never contact me ever again, don’t make me repeat.
Took some time to get over that hurt,
How quickly I become an expert.
I pushed you out of my mind and heart,
Who knew years later you would try to restart.
I hesitated and for good reason,
I don’t want a repeat of last season.
This time I really thought it was different,
The way you looked and spoke,
Were you different from other folk?
I let the scene play on but I did have my doubts,
Just what were contacting me about?
I looked for the meaning in your eyes,
The next thing you said took me by surprise.
This time I was different and put up a wall,
I didn’t want our feelings to get into a brawl.
I had to create that space between us,
And to my dismay it was a must.
Yes, I left in quite a bit of a rush…
Only because it didn’t hurt that much.
I needed to get on with my life without any strife.
I said to you again leave me alone,
This is really the end.
Honestly, you never crossed my mind again,
Until I saw something I liked,
It was purely innocent.
I received a response from you…
Has Hell frozen over, is this true?
My mind raced over the good and the bad times,
I was all prepared and in my prime.
A small still voice quickly ensued,
Softly stated “give him another chance” but I also knew,
What really made him pursue.
Was it the excitement?
The chase? Or did I occupy his mental pace?
I again questioned his return,
Is there something we both must learn?
Cloak my feelings, discard my emotions,
They are so deep like the endless ocean.
Keep a clear head and don’t misread,
The signs that he is giving,
Are you sure this pain is worth reliving?
Is she really trying to be mine,
Could it be the right person…wrong time.
I question everything that he shows me,
His actions screamed like a damn banshee.
This time around I am seriously not playing,
Stop portraying and tell me what your really saying.
Please do not lie to me or play me for a fool,
A man should never play with a woman’s heart…did you forget that golden rule?
It’s been some time since we talked,
Do you want to dock and undo this lock?
You can only block your feelings for so long,
Whose heart do you want to truly belong?
Mine is the safest place on earth,
Do you not see my full worth?
If you don’t I am sad for you,’
You must be really completely and totally screwed.
I will not sit and wait for your decision,
This feels like a bad incision.
I swear your thoughts need supervision.
If you love me please let me know,
If not you must let me go.
Copyright © Seleta Harvey 2013