The month of January proved to be a very interesting and extremely enlightening on a number of things that I did not expect but I am thankful for the experience and the lessons. As I will always state I am in no way an expert just an expert when it comes to me. I relate things on my level of understanding so with that being said…let’s continue shall we? At this point and time, I am at the half way mark in this month of February to say the least and cannot wait for it to be over. Honestly, I have never been a big fan of Valentine’s day because of bittersweet memories and the fact that you should show someone you love them everyday and not a day specified on the calender. If people knew the true origins of that day it wouldn’t be celebrated but I am in no way knocking people doing their thing…no judgments on this side you dig? Live and let live is another motto I am embracing because everybody got their vices so it is all good:
1. Seeing things how they are meant to be seen!
One of the lessons that I constantly find myself going through is seeing things more so in people and then something happening (whether good or bad) and being re-focused. When you are taught to see the positive in people no matter what the situation is your vision of them can be somewhat distorted. The phrase that “hurt people hurt people” you do not realize how true it really is. Look at it like this: when you are hurt and you begin to cry the first couple of seconds of the tears forming in your eyes causes your vision to be blurry. Then after you are finished with that good cry, you wipe your tears away and then your vision is restored and re-focused. You then begin to see things that are meant for you to see. I have a whole new level of understanding to the practice of crying and another appreciation of the meaning behind tears. Everyone that we encounter good or bad show us one picture and then after some time we will cry and try to sort out everything. Once it is over we learn how to handle that person or situation if it comes up again because it was a lesson we had to pass. Seeing things how they are meant to be seen does not require you to be of a certain age nor of a certain understanding but only on your ability to cry in order to regain your sight.
2. Levels of Patience
Everyone struggles with this one way or the other and it is something that I have learned that their is levels of patience that I have been slowly and painfully introduced to. When you do not have control over certain things that’s when patience kicks in. People will always try your patience at different ways and levels in life but I have found through meditation it eases it in some ways. I cannot really say how many levels because I am only speaking for myself. Being an artist and painting since I was 3 has helped a great deal in building my patience. I have a certain level of patience when it comes to people, places and things but once that has been reached then it is a different ball game. No one will ever master the art of patience so the best advice I can give is just to go with flow and see where it will take you!
3. Focus on your own happiness!
I find it really sad when people forget their own happiness when it comes to friendships and relationships. It is pretty simple ” how can you try and make someone else happy when you fail to realize you need happiness as well?” We become so lost in another individual’s wants and needs to a certain extent that we neglect our own. From my experience, I have always been able to tell when someone is truly happy and when someone is faking the funk! I recently posted on Facebook this simple statement “When you sacrifice your own happiness to appease others then you are living below your means. Your happiness is just as important. You want a new level of thinking and feeling add happiness into the equation. Stop short changing yourself when you have been given all the coins in order to ride the wave of happiness.” I am a strong believer in the fact that the level of your happiness is based of the strength of your energy. You can be happy for others but you cannot live for others and that’s where some I believe get it mixed alllll the way up! I have seen people jumped into relationships not being fully healed from a bad relationship thinking that the new relationship is going to enable to be “truly happy”…sorry buy Number 1 rule “learn how to make yourself completely and profoundly happy first!” If you go into a friendship or relationship with unrealistic feelings and ideas then you my friend are setting yourself for a number of HUGE DISAPPOINTMENTS that will take a lifetime to get over ( in my mind but maybe not yours….I am just saying!) and damage the other person. You have to simply use your brain and see what is best for you first before you can go thinking about someone else!
4. Know when to walk away!
Quite frankly walking away from someone especially when you have given all you got including your love and it goes unappreciated by the other person is the worst thing imaginable! There is so much unfairness when it comes to giving your best and the one person you give it to act like that they either do not want or need it. How inconsiderate is that? In that moment when you realize that individual cannot see past the damage that they are causing not just to themselves but to the another person. Its ok to walk away from anything that once again…does not bring happiness to your life. You will come to know when enough is enough!
5. The ugly side of the word “Convenience”
The more and more I hear this word associated with friendships and relationships the more it makes a my stomach turn. This word should never be associated with any type of “ship” connected to it…quite frankly it’s bad business and no bueno on all levels! It comes down to that phrase “use things and not people”. I think the more people realize when they are doing this no matter how small or big it can make a difference. Like it is said it takes a month to break a bad habit? Well where ever you are in this start that day and watch how much changes. I find it interesting how much and how freely the word is utilized in association in dealing with different individuals.
6. Remember those that care!
Often people get so caught up in their daily routines and what is going on that they forget those that have been there for them tooth and nail. We have to realize we are all we have and be mindful that we cannot afford to through anyone way. Those that check up on you, text, call etc. should receive the most attention and love from you. No one on the planet is that busy where they completely ignore someone that wants to know if you are doing well. God does not forget about you so you shouldn’t forget those that you claim to love and respect. People forget kindness goes such a long way and makes all the difference in the world!
7. Be selfish with yourself!
I think at different times in your life it is more than ok to be selfish with yourself. You have to take care of you because no one is going to do it for you. Having alone time allows for you to do much introspection and see where you can improve. No one is perfect and we are always finding and learning different ways to become the best versions of ourselves. You never what to get to the point where you overextend and not able to get back to you! Like a small rubber band can only take so much stretching that eventually it is going to pop or snap! If you feel yourself getting to the point then stop what you are doing and re-evaluate. One of things that I struggle with and have to remind myself is that it is ok to say no, not offering up an explanation and not feeling bad about it. Its in my makeup to be brutally honest because it clears your conscience. So ahead and be selfish with yourself and just love yourself a little more!
Now that today is not only the last day in February…it is also a leap day! So let’s take this opportunity to leap into new directions with a new heart, mind, soul and spirit and see where it leads you. A lot of things that can be done should be done and fear cannot be apart of the equation. Life is meant to be lived in such a way it can be read in your smile and written on the surface on your skin. Let’s start doing that because tomorrow is never promised….Namaste!