Month of July: How would you use 30 days to break your old habits?

breaking bad habits

We all get to a certain breaking point in our lives where we look around and say ” how the hell did I get here and how can I change it?” I am firm believer that you cannot work to numb the pain away or even pretend to function on autopilot or even become so stoic in what you feel and think that you become completely numb to things that are supposed to bring you happiness and love into your life. You are not truly living life just by going with motions…its not fair to you and it is just not right especially if you have people who are willing to give you the shirt off their backs and you are basically giving them your ass to kiss. How right and truly fair is that? If it ever gets to that point…well my friend it is about time you take a hard look in the mirror and chin-check yourself! One thing that I think we take for granted as being humans is that you are not the only one on earth having a living experience full of variations of emotions that involve other people. You have to be responsible at ALL TIMES for the type of energy you put out to the world because you have no idea how it will affect those that truly care about you!  So here we are at the climax of how to make those changes…well I will tell you this much…I am not exempt from this at all and like I have always stated I am not expert…I am only an expert on me! My only wish is to help those that struggle with different things and that I also can take my own advice.

The life old question: how many days does it take to break a bad habit…21 or 30 days?  To me it really doesn’t matter about the length of days but what are you doing to proactively make those changes and to stick with them for a better and healthier lifestyle. Everything in life is a choice: carrying sadness or guilt from the past that you can no longer change and accepting that and moving on to something better to increase your happiness; letting go of someone you love because they fail to see the “real you” and you finally get tired of it and going and getting what you truly deserve etc. The list is endless and has plenty of reasons but those 21 or 30 days is so crucial to your overall well-being. Here is an clear example:

A few weeks ago I decided to go see someone that is near and dear to my heart. I was surprised I went and the other party involved was just as surprised that I just popped up! Long story short, me and the other party talked briefly on communicating more because communication was and is non-existent which is a problem for me. The other party understood where I was coming from and simply stated ” I will do better!” I was very much thrilled to see that my plea for communication was well received. Even though I was happy I still had the question in the back of my mind ” will this other party keep their word?” Therefore I said to myself ” I do not expect someone to change their habits in one or two weeks so I will have to see.” I struggled a bit to see some type of evidence which I got very little. So I did what most what do and continued to reach out. I then had a incident that truly scared me and it was a matter of life or death. I then reached out to the other party again looking for comfort and some emotional support and to my disappointment the other party did not respond back and left me hanging.  

Now the 30-day mark is fastly approaching and to my discontent…nothing has changed! Ultimately, I have decided that the other party is not concerned in how I feel or think nor are they even thinking about the exchangement of energy that was shared in each others presence. I find it very disheartening and very sad because I was looking forward to an “idea” that could of come into fruition if the other party was proactively involved in making a simple change. I reached conclusion that the other party in a sense ” has no room for me” in their life and wrestling with the decision to walk away. Maybe things will change but who knows but I find that it is quite unfair and hurtful to think about someone so heavily and to know you do not occupy their thoughts. I still pray and have faith that things will change but things cannot continue to be one-sided at all! Life goes on and true happiness is within a arms length but the someone has to be on the other side reaching out too!

So during the remainder of the 21 or 30 days in breaking bad habits I have decided to focus on healing myself from the number of mass disappointments, hurts and pains I have experienced in the last few months. Everyone deserves true love and happiness for once in their lives and I owe it to myself to have that because it has eluded me for years. The smile I have on my face took much inner work to put their and even more work to keep it there. Having experienced enough heartbreak to last me 10 lifetimes I am very much surprised that I can still love as deeply as I do, give the way that I give, laugh has hard as I do everyday, be there for others when I am really needed and wanted, and that my heart still functions at a high capacity.  So if I can survive all of this well I am just letting you know…you can too! Do not lose hope and hold onto to your faith that in the end everything works out for the good! #LiveLifePositive


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